Indian weddings have always been a source of great wonder to me. It’s one of the few times in life where both tradition and aesthetics are given equal importance. Like when was the last time you heard a bride’s amma say that she doesn’t really care about her daughter’s muhurtham outfit because all that matters is that prescribed rituals are meticulously adhered to? That’s right, never. Of course, the priest is consulted extensively in the lead up to the wedding but we all know that a comparable amount of time has been spent at Pothys and the tailor mama’s shop. But I digress, the point I am trying to make is that an Indian wedding is essentially a concentrated capsule of everything that makes our culture beautiful. An insane amount of rituals and prayers? Check. Plenty of music, dance and festivities? Check. A never ending supply of glorious, perfectly spiced food? Check. Flowers, kolams and kuthuvilakus? Check. Super traditional OOTDs and the best of Indian couture? Check. See? I told you, culture in a capsule! But beyond these physical observations, I realised that there are also plenty of life lessons on display as we tie the knot, Indian style.

#1. Timing is Everything

Mathematical precision in timings is a non-compromising feature of Indian weddings. Mere seconds could make all the difference between auspicious marital bliss and tempting fate by dabbling with the much feared Rahu Kaalam.  And so, there is an auspicious time for EVERY. SINGLE. THING that happens i.e. the time the bride/groom leave their homes for the wedding venue, the time they step into the hall, the time they have a shower on the wedding day and of course,  the moment the thaali is tied. Every moment has to happen at the prescribed time, not a moment sooner and not a moment later. And in many ways, life is like that too. Things come to us not necessarily when we want them, but when we need them. Try as we may to wish things into existence sooner, that is just not how the universe operates.

#2. Keep Calm and The Storm Will Pass On

Emotions run high during weddings and understandably so, I mean this is a day the bride has been envisioning for months if not years. It’s a day that is eagerly awaited by every parent and above all, it’s a day that signifies the beginning of the next phase in one’s life. To top it all off, members of the wedding party are frantically rushing about trying to get things organised for the ceremony, the bride is exhausted from being pricked and prodded into dozens of outfits (all within the span of 48 hours) and nobody can figure out where in the world the key to the wedding jewellery safe has gone (the priest is emphatically yelling that he needs an item from it by 7:37 am). It’s super stressful and may mean that people are snapping at each other and getting more annoyed than they would usually. At moments like this, the best thing to do is to stay calm and let the moment pass. At least that way, when the moment is over and everyone is back to their normal state, we can look back at the chaos with amusement and laugh rather than holding on to wounds created by harsh exchanges and arguments. Think about how much drama this would save if we applied this attitude to our lives too!

#3. Eliminate the Unwanted by Incorporating More of The Wanted

Ever noticed that the most important events during the ceremony are accompanied by tremendous amounts of noise? Cue the crescendo of the Nadaswaram blaring away in all it’s glory whilst the thaali is being tied. I don’t know about you guys but I honestly cannot hear my own thoughts, let alone anything else that is going on around me when this is happening. And apparently, this is exactly why this tradition came to be. The whole point of said crescendo is to fill the hall with good energies and drown out all the negativity that is happening in that moment (i.e. the gossip of the pakkathu veedu maami, chatter about how the pal payaasam was not up to par or discussions about how much weight so and so’s daughter has put on recently). And maybe this is a good concept to adopt in our lives too. Imagine how beautiful life would be if we replaced negative thought patterns with tonnes of positivity and optimism? Imagine how amazing it would be if we did less of things that don’t serve us  and replace them with things that fill our heart with joy and satisfaction instead?

All said and done, weddings are a stark reminder that all of us are on individual journeys because once all the festivities are over and the hall is cleared out, the daughter you brought up for more than two decades is now someone’s wife, daughter-in law and future mother. Your friend, the groom is now someone’s husband with all the responsibilities of starting a family. The guests will all return to their homes and the married couple now has their own path to pave. Will their path take them to the next neighbourhood, state or the other side of the world? No one knows, but hey what is life without uncertainty?